Welcome to the Good Life

November 14, 2009 at 10:27 pm (Uncategorized) (, , , , , , , , , , , , )

Oh my!  So much has happened since I last turned my cathexis to addressing the people in Internet world.  I apologize for the use of the word “cathexis” but I just learned it and I want to look smart.  So much has happened.  For example, Kanye West interrupted Taylor Swift at MTV’s VMAs, insisting that Beyonce should have won the award for Best Video instead of her.  Then there was a huge public outcry and everyone hated Kanye West.  Now Taylor Swift won a bunch of awards at the CMAs and some people are pissed off about it, suggesting perhaps she didn’t deserve it.

kanye-west-fresh-prince-of-bel-air-greatest-of-all-time

Let’s see.  I think that’s probably about all that’s happened over the last month or so.  There were some shootings and something to do with the health care bill, but as someone whose primary news source is facebook news feed (Not really. Don’t castrate me), I think the first paragraph covered the topics we as a country feel most passionately about.  I would suggest that Twitter would be a better source for news, but I hate it, and as far as I can tell it’s mostly used for daughters of former presidential candidates pissing off conservative people and governors showing their breakfast to the world.

So, back to the lecture at hand (perfection is perfected so I’ma let ‘em understand), we’re going to talk about Kanye West and Taylor Swift.  This is a conflict that seems like it needs a resolution and since I don’t see these names as real people but as performers whose names go next to songs, I think the fairest way to settle this is to have a song battle.

kanye-vs-taylor_480x270

When I typed “Taylor Swift” into iTunes, her top 3 most popular songs were “You Belong With Me,” “Love Story,” and “Our Song.”  Kanye’s top 3 were “Heartless,” “Stronger,” and “Gold Digger.”  I originally planned on doing top 5, but I don’t know Taylor’s #4 song and I’m not a thorough enough investigator to listen to something new.

First up: “You Belong With Me” vs. “Heartless.”  Both of these songs are pretty whiney.  The difference is that Kanye has given up and is jaded against his girl while Taylor is (naively) still hopeful that the boy of her dreams will break up with his girlfriend and come date her.  This one is a tie because they’re both complaining too hard for me to think straight.

Next up: “Love Story” vs. “Stronger.”  This is a tough comparison.  It’s like comparing apples and… detergent.  Love story is, well, a love story.  As far as I can tell, Stronger is sort of about pursuing a girl, although it kind of switches a lot and the hook doesn’t seem to relate to the rest of the song.  Although Stronger is badass, point Taylor for being cute and mostly consistent.

Taylor Swift Love Story Lyrics Mp3

Lastly:  “Our Song” vs. “Gold Digger.”  I’ve got to give this matchup to Kanye just because of the line “We want prenup” (yeaaah).

kanye-west-101

But wait, some might say – doesn’t that make it a tie?  The score is 1-1.  As the official scorekeeper, the tie goes to Kanye because he runs this town (feat. Jay-Z (hovi, baby) and Rihanna) so everyone has to stop hating on him, admit that he’s living the good life, start his new workout plan, and keep your love locked down (or you lose).

Of course this could all change if Taylor comes out with a new better song some time soon.  Good luck.

UPDATE:

I have been reminded that Taylor Swift is cooler than I gave her credit for.  Please see the following video as evidence:

Of course this bumps her into a slight lead over Kanye.  Kanye’s rebuttal?  A big tall glass of crazy:

I know it may seem like the deck is stacked, but I’ve got to give this one back to Kanye.  He’s the model of consistency and he gets bonus points for the reaction he elicited from Mike Myers.

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I’m all a-Twitter

April 27, 2009 at 11:23 am (Uncategorized) (, , , , )

Twitter is so *$&%king stupid. Forgive me if I come off as arrogant, pessimistic, or cynical, but when it comes to this, I just might be. You know, there are entire industries dedicated to being ahead of the curve. People want the next big thing. Either you want to have it before your friends so they’re jealous or you want to be selling it or invested in it so you’re on top of that bubble when the value really takes off. It seems like everyone wants to be right there ahead of the curve.

However, sometimes when you get ahead of the curve, you guess the wrong curve. You curve left and the road takes a sharp right. I’m looking at you, HD DVD, LaserDisc, and Windows NT.

I guess what I’m trying to say is that Twitter is *$&%ing stupid. The idea of knowing what your favorite celebrities are doing 24 hours a day seems like it would humanize them and make them less of these fictional untouchable creatures. I can see a bit of merit in that idea. However, when it comes down to it, I don’t care. Why should I care when Alicia Keys is bored waiting in traffic or if the egomaniac Shaq is feeling a little sick or that the esteemed Senator from Arkansas is waiting for the Congressional Joint Session to begin? I think being that connected is dangerous and unnecessary. Plus, I’d rather not know that no one in the world capitalizes ever anymore or that grammar is completely dead. And I think somehow abbreviating every other word to keep it under 140 characters can somehow take away from the levity of your message if it’s serious.

Real Twitter from Florida Congresswoman Ileana Ros-Lehtinen

Real Twitter from Florida Congresswoman Ileana Ros-Lehtinen

I can see the draw. I really can. It could be addicting. It could give you something to do when you are stuck in traffic or when you’re waiting for a plane, but I think the feeling of superficial false connectedness is just another societal empty calorie. It’s pseudo interaction. Sorry, Politicians. I know your overwhelming excuse is to stay connected with your constituents, but it seems like this goes back to the age-old problem with politicians – it’s easier to talk than listen. Social networking sites like Facebook or MySpace can eat up a lot of free time doing nothing, and those are based on the same concept, but in my eyes, Twitter is just one step too far. Plus, maybe we wouldn’t have to Twitter so much if we just took a few minutes to reflect on things and talk to the people around us. Maybe take the time to unplug just a little bit. Anyway, my day to day life isn’t interesting enough to push it on everyone I know.

Remember what I said about egocentric?

Remember what I said about egocentric?

In conclusion, Twitter is *$&%ing stupid.

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