Welcome to the Good Life
Oh my! So much has happened since I last turned my cathexis to addressing the people in Internet world. I apologize for the use of the word “cathexis” but I just learned it and I want to look smart. So much has happened. For example, Kanye West interrupted Taylor Swift at MTV’s VMAs, insisting that Beyonce should have won the award for Best Video instead of her. Then there was a huge public outcry and everyone hated Kanye West. Now Taylor Swift won a bunch of awards at the CMAs and some people are pissed off about it, suggesting perhaps she didn’t deserve it.
Let’s see. I think that’s probably about all that’s happened over the last month or so. There were some shootings and something to do with the health care bill, but as someone whose primary news source is facebook news feed (Not really. Don’t castrate me), I think the first paragraph covered the topics we as a country feel most passionately about. I would suggest that Twitter would be a better source for news, but I hate it, and as far as I can tell it’s mostly used for daughters of former presidential candidates pissing off conservative people and governors showing their breakfast to the world.
So, back to the lecture at hand (perfection is perfected so I’ma let ‘em understand), we’re going to talk about Kanye West and Taylor Swift. This is a conflict that seems like it needs a resolution and since I don’t see these names as real people but as performers whose names go next to songs, I think the fairest way to settle this is to have a song battle.
When I typed “Taylor Swift” into iTunes, her top 3 most popular songs were “You Belong With Me,” “Love Story,” and “Our Song.” Kanye’s top 3 were “Heartless,” “Stronger,” and “Gold Digger.” I originally planned on doing top 5, but I don’t know Taylor’s #4 song and I’m not a thorough enough investigator to listen to something new.
First up: “You Belong With Me” vs. “Heartless.” Both of these songs are pretty whiney. The difference is that Kanye has given up and is jaded against his girl while Taylor is (naively) still hopeful that the boy of her dreams will break up with his girlfriend and come date her. This one is a tie because they’re both complaining too hard for me to think straight.
Next up: “Love Story” vs. “Stronger.” This is a tough comparison. It’s like comparing apples and… detergent. Love story is, well, a love story. As far as I can tell, Stronger is sort of about pursuing a girl, although it kind of switches a lot and the hook doesn’t seem to relate to the rest of the song. Although Stronger is badass, point Taylor for being cute and mostly consistent.
Lastly: “Our Song” vs. “Gold Digger.” I’ve got to give this matchup to Kanye just because of the line “We want prenup” (yeaaah).
But wait, some might say – doesn’t that make it a tie? The score is 1-1. As the official scorekeeper, the tie goes to Kanye because he runs this town (feat. Jay-Z (hovi, baby) and Rihanna) so everyone has to stop hating on him, admit that he’s living the good life, start his new workout plan, and keep your love locked down (or you lose).
Of course this could all change if Taylor comes out with a new better song some time soon. Good luck.
UPDATE:
I have been reminded that Taylor Swift is cooler than I gave her credit for. Please see the following video as evidence:
Of course this bumps her into a slight lead over Kanye. Kanye’s rebuttal? A big tall glass of crazy:
I know it may seem like the deck is stacked, but I’ve got to give this one back to Kanye. He’s the model of consistency and he gets bonus points for the reaction he elicited from Mike Myers.
Just a little taste 