Everyone Will Notice, But No One Will Know

September 28, 2009 at 6:44 pm (Uncategorized) (, , , , , , )

I’ve been watching a fair amount of TV on Hulu lately and it’s a fantastic service but they keep playing one commercial in particular over and over again and it creeps me out a little each time.  Open your eyes to Juvederm.

Sorry about the funky 10 second countdown to the beginning.  It’s to build a sense of drama.

Anyway, I like how they use the airbrush filter on the camera lens so she doesn’t have any wrinkles anyway. The part that always makes me cringe, though, is at about 18 seconds when it pops up “injectable gel.”  Injectable gel?!? Is this episode of Psych really being sponsored by brand name Botox?

I realize growing older in today’s society isn’t easy.  Maybe I’m just old fashioned, but I think when you get to the crossroads in your life when you really feel you have to choose between having laugh lines and injecting your face with shit to get rid of them, I think it’s probably okay to have the laugh lines.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to be at my weekly meeting with my plastic surgeon.

This post brought to you by Juvederm, Kanye West, and the letter R.

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Elementary, My Dear Watson

April 4, 2009 at 12:30 pm (Uncategorized) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , )

I’ve spent a lot of time watching mystery crime shows on TV.  I’ve spent a substantial amount of time watching CSI, CSI: New York, Monk, Psych, even Law & Order: SVU and CSI: Miami.  I think there are others but I can’t remember them right now.  At any rate, I’ve noticed a pattern.  It turns out my laze has actually been research.  I’ve figured out the algorithim – not necessarily mathematically or that I can prove, but  I love to miseuse terms that sound smart but I don’t completely understand.  I have a sure-fire way to solve the crime within the first 25 minutes of the hour long come-drama.

Here goes.  Pay attention to the non-regular cast of the episode you’re watching, the one-episode minor characters, if you will.  Occasionally, there will be one character you’ve seen before in a different show as a minor character, or even a C-list celebrity whose name you actually know.  That’s the killer.  That’s the guy.  They’re not going to waste their time coming on a detective show unless they get to be the killer.  Of course there are rare exceptions to the rule I just made up, but I think it holds true a majority of the time.  Of course there aren’t enough C-list celebrities to go around so there are quite a few episodes that will use regular actors who you don’t notice from anywhere else.  In these situations you’re going to have to guess the killer the same way I live every day – by throwing out wild accusations at every character who comes on the screen.  It’s like the lotto.  You’ve got to play to win.  Good luck.

Somebody’s got to lotto.  It might as well be you.

Everybody Loves... MURDER!

Everybody Loves... MURDER!

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