Doublin’ Down on Da VP

April 13, 2010 at 8:30 pm (Uncategorized) (, , , , , , , , )

Today I’m here simply to follow up my previous post.  My fellow Americans, today marks a huge victory for those of us who want universal health care reform t-shirts.  We have fought long and hard for this day, and it wasn’t easy, but victory is finally ours.  That’s right, the Obama website announced that they will officially be printing and selling the “Health Reform is  BFD” t-shirts (technically giving away for free if you happen to donate $25 to Organizing for America).  So if you want to order yours, mosey on over to this website.  They’re also good for haters – they make great shop rags or paintball testing targets.

Indeed it is, Joey B

I, as the conveyer of all things important, must also include part of the item description to you:

There are things that are a big deal — birthdays, anniversaries, the NCAA Championship game. And then there are things that are a BFD, like delivering health insurance to 32 million Americans. We worked hard together to make health reform a reality, and now you can celebrate this historic victory with this shirt.

Again, for good measure, I’m including a video about Joe Biden, that suave son of a bitch, from The Onion.

Edit: If videos aren’t for you, read this story about Biden from The Onion as well.

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Barack Skywalker

September 17, 2009 at 5:03 pm (Uncategorized) (, , , , , , , , )

It’s uncanny how well I predict the future sometimes.  For instance, some of you may remember back on January 23, 2009, I introduced you to a little collectable I like to call the Barack Obama action figure.  Check it.  I can’t change the dates on these things as far as I know so that mamma jamma’s real.  Well now 8 months later, in the midst of Chicago vying to host the Olympic games in 2016, President Obama must have read of my uncanny ability to get things done just by writing about them and decided to try to appease me for help.  Yes, Mr. President.  Because you’re trying so hard, it shall be so.  I’m telling you right here and now that I predict Chicago will host the Olympic games in 2016.  You can mark it down on your 7 year calendar.

I also think President Obama is using the force to help influence the Olympic Committee.  I can imagine the conversation.

“I’m Barack Obama.  You do not need to see my identification.”

“We don’t need to see your identification.”

“This is the city you’re looking for.”

“This is the city we’re looking for.”

“You can go about your business.”

“We’re going to go about our business.”

I’m pretty sure that’s how it went down.

Congratulations, Chicago.  Chiggetty-Check it.

September 16, 2009

September 16, 2009

Original - January 2009

Original - January 2009

Take a closer look.  I dare you.  He’s got on a white shirt and dark pants, a blue lightsaber, and even a tie with a red pattern.  If that doesn’t say he’s recreating the picture, I don’t know what does.

Interestingly, if we could pan a little bit on the new photograph, we would see Dick Cheney dressed in a black robe holding his red lightsaber (Get it? He’s evil!)

I thought you might like to see it turned on, too

I thought you might like to see it turned on, too

May the force be with you.

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Batter Up

February 8, 2009 at 6:20 pm (Uncategorized) (, , , , , , , , , )

POLITICAL TIME OUT!

As a precursor to this statement, please remember this is not a political post.  I’ve set my politics aside for this post. For this exercise, let’s forget how we feel about stimulus plans, universally affordable health care, timelines for withdrawal, breaking racial barriers, and all the other political issues that draw divides.  I just want to express to everyone that I am excited about our President.

The reason I’m currently excited about our President is that the professional football season is over.  Confused?  Stay with me.  I’ll lead you to water.  Since the football season is officially over, pro hockey is a joke, pro basketball  is unentertaining, and I’m not even sure when the pro soccer season is, as far as I’m concerned baseball season is right around the corner.  Baseball season starting means opening day.  Opening day means President Obama throws out the ceremonial first pitch at a game.

President Obama Throwing a Snowball

President Obama Throwing a Snowball

Politics aside, as I’ve tried so hard to stress so far, we’ve got a pretty athletic president.  I’m excited to see the southpaw bring the heat.  Everyone else is focused on what kind of dog the Obamas will get.  Wrong frivilous conversation.  The correct frivilous pop culture conversation is speculating what kind of first pitch he’ll throw.  The options, as far as I see them are to go halfway to the mound and throw a ball into a rainbow 20 feet high or to try to throw a decent speed.  It’s not that far.  I have faith.

Now enjoy pictures of George W. Bush and Woodrow Wilson throwing first pitches.  I am also adding in Dick Cheney to prove that anybody can do it (I bet he threw a rainbow).

George W. Bush

George W. Bush

Woodrow Wilson.  Apparently they used to throw the first pitch from the stands

Woodrow Wilson. Apparently they used to throw the first pitch from the stands

Dick Cheney

Dick Cheney having his bi-annual doctor ordered "fun"

As an aside, most people know Obama is a more active playing basketball than playing catch.  Might we one day see a ceremonial first free throw for the opening day of basketball season?  Yes.  It’s silly, but how much sillier than a ceremonial first pitch?  I’ll be perfectly fine taking full credit for this new American tradition.  Anyway, in the end I think all I really know is that I’d pay to see the ceremonial first tackle of the NFL season!

POLITICAL TIME IN!

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Executive Privilege

January 23, 2009 at 12:36 am (Uncategorized) (, , , , , , , , , )

Today I’m going light on words and heavy on pictures.  Although I guess a picture is worth a thousand words so maybe I’m dropping like 9000 words on you.  Think about it.  I’m going to cut through the bull with you today and tell you from the get-go that I found a Japaneese website that is apparently selling a Barack Obama action figure.  That’s fine.  Plenty of people are capitalizing monetarily on the new President.  I’ll show you some pics.

It starts out innocently enough. Looks like a pretty high quality doll.  The face might be a little off, but I’m willing to forgive and forget.

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Innocent enough.  It even comes with a little stool, a microphone, and an American flag.  Cute.

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Then it starts to get weird.  I’ll let you look at the rest without captions.

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obama-machete1obama-darth-vader

Just in case you want to see the President as a stereotypical black comedian
Just in case you want to see the President as a stereotypical black comedian

Anyway, I hope after seeing President Obama fight Lord Vader, you’re feeling as patriotic as I am.  Good luck looking badass next to Darth Vader, Vladimir Putin.  He’s got the dark side of the force.  You’ve got the dark side of Eurasia.

I also think after action figure Obama shoots someone he should say something cheesy like James Bond.  Like “This is an executive order,” “A handgun I can believe in,” “I nominate you… to die!” or “I HOPE you brought an extra CHANGE of underwear!” If someone takes that idea and runs with it, I call a cut of the profits from the cartoon!

As an added bonus, I’m including a picture of a sexy Catholic school girl Sarah Palin action figure.

palindoll

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