PHENOMINAL COSMIC POWERS – itty bitty living space

May 30, 2009 at 10:23 am (Uncategorized) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , )

“So be sure when you step, Step with care and great tact. And remember that life’s A Great Balancing Act. And will you succeed? Yes! You will, indeed! (98 and ¾ percent guaranteed) Kid, you’ll move mountains.”   -Dr. Seuss (Oh, the Places You’ll Go!)

You know I’m not a vain man.  I’m as humble as the day is long (IF NOT HUMBLER!) but I just can’t hide my grandiosity from you any longer today.  I know most of you probably already knew this but the late Theodore Geisel (Dr. Seuss) was talking directly to me in his quote near the end of “Oh, the Places You’ll Go!”  No lie.  Think about it.  How often do you directly influence major corporations decisions?  Never!  That’s how often (unless of course you do, in which case I apologize).  Anyway, I’m up to 2 tallies so far in that category.  Some of you may vaguely recall me mentioning something about volcano tacos at some point.  Oh yes, that’s right.  I wrote a long serious complaint letter to Taco Bell expressing my feelings of disappointment at the VT being taken away from me so abruptly.  Well, loyal casual readers – like a father who really DID go to the store just for a pack of cigarettes, they’re back.  They thought about driving out of town but they just couldn’t leave from their baby.  Thank you, Taco Bell.

They didn't just bring it back.  They made a whole Volcano Menu!

They didn't just bring it back. They made a whole Volcano Menu!

BFD, right?  By some crazy coincidence right after they received their complaint letter from me, they decided to bring back the Volcano Taco.  Fine.  To you naysayers who refuse to believe in my obvious greatness, I submit to you exhibit B.

Again, some of you may recall a post I wrote a couple months back referencing sparkling Lipton tea I drank when I was in Europe but was unable to buy or replicate once I returned to the States.  I hate to speculate too much but I’m going to say Lipton has someone out there reading every blog posted looking for new ideas.  Or perhaps one of them just subscribes to mine.  That actually seems more likely.  Anyway, without further adieu, I would like to introduce you to Lipton’s Sparkling Green Tea.

"Sparkling" is code for Carbonated

"Sparkling" is code for Carbonated

It’s not quite what I had in mind but at least they’re listening to me.  Something must have been lost in the translation from Joe Everyman to Joseph CorporateSpeak (in this scenario I’m Joe Everyman).

In conclusion, I’m considering writing to the Fantastic Four (they’re real!) and asking if they need a fifth member who can change public policy.  Counter intuitively, we’ll change our name to the Superfantastic Five.

Oh by the way, any requests?

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